The War of the Sexes

…and Cluster B

728px-Identify-a-Psychopath-Step-9.jpgIt has occurred to me that 99% of the complaints one sees on the Internet about us “horrible” Bees has to do with intimate relationships. Surely there are other areas in which terrible people can manifest their evil. We hear about “corporate psychopaths,” like Bernie Madoff, who ruin people’s lives economically. And about serial killers, of course. But most of these mentions are only in passing. It is in a love match that our evil can be seen in full bloom. The objects of these complaints are most often narcissists but psychopaths are a very close second. Borderlines and histrionics can do some of the things “victims/survivors” complain about but are less often cited. We have been called demons and reptiles. But the overwhelmingly greater proportion of misdeeds seems to be in male-female territory.

It is almost always women complaining about what narcissistic or psychopathic men have done to them. Almost, but not always. There is a very angry man who has made exposing the “evil” of female psychopaths his life’s crusade.

This man actually identifies by name the woman he has nicknamed “Medusa.” He calls her “the darkest creature known to man.” From his description, she sounds more like a borderline to me but whatever. I guess “psychopath” sounds worse and he is gung-ho on demonizing her. What terrible crime(s) is she guilty of? It turns out the crime is infidelity. Well, Johnson is entitled to his value system. Kind of hard to consider this on a par with mass murder. But I guess it felt like it to him. He goes on and on for almost two hours (but it feels like longer). He is also instrumental in something called a 21 Convention held in Florida to teach men how to be “ideal men.” Turns out that Anthony sees himself as another Howard Roark (The Fountainhead). I can’t imagine Howard Roark being “used” by a woman. The only woman he was involved with was a hottie named Dominique. Roark would never have whined about anything Dominique ever did. Only a weenie whines like this.

jacksonmacJohnson mentions one blog specifically. It’s called Psychopath Free. He holds up the book written by the blogger, Jackson MacKenzie, who also runs the blog. There is nothing unusual about what he says here. We are “social predators” and “love bomb” our prey, devaluing and discarding them as soon as we have got them under our thumbs. We tell them they are “too sensitive” and so forth. Why Johnson thinks this one is special is beyond me. But he sure looks like a sensitive empath, though.

728px-identify-a-psychopath-step-1Most hate-b blogs are by women. I have already posted the Psychopath’s Guide to Haters so there’s no need to repeat all that. But just get a load of the titles (all found in the above-named guide): Love Fraud, Stop Romance Scams, My Sociopath, Psychopaths and Love, Charm and the Psychopath, Dating a Sociopath, a new one from Psychology Today, Did You Unwittingly Fall for a Psychopath? It looks like all we psychopaths do is search for “prey” to seduce and break the hearts of.

728px-identify-a-psychopath-step-5A blog I recently came across has some excellent articles about borderline personality disorder. She pleads for understanding of the borderline and stresses that it is not her fault she has a disorder. Surprisingly, she reverts to the usual blather when on the subject of narcissists or people with aspd. Just look at the titles of her articles. 17 Things to never say to a girl with Borderline Personality Disorder as opposed to 5 Sneaky Things Narcissists Do to Take Advantage of You. This is the rule, not the exception. She thinks the person reading her articles, the “you” she is addressing is someone like herself. Funny how we often don’t know when we talk about people we could be overheard by the very folks we had been dissing.

Everyone wants love. Many love relationships end badly, meaning, not in a live of marriage, children and grand-kids. Not that those relationships are always all that great. It seems like romantic love, by its very nature, is volatile at best. Arranged marriages seemed to last longer than those by choice. Of course, that could be due to the greater difficulty of ending a marriage in those days. The 728px-identify-a-psychopath-step-12self-indulgent nature of people’s expectations in love also plays a role. If our feelings are the main parameter of a successful relationship, the fact that feelings change make for instability. For both parties to remain in love and committed for a lifetime…What are the odds? Even if one member of a happy couple stays faithful, the other might not. Most marriages begin when the couple is young. But people often change over the years. Raising a family is very different from dating. There are sit-coms about this. “Why don’t you ever take me out anymore?” wails the wife. Our culture also causes unrealistic expectations. We are sold romance but we get dirty diapers and confining careers. Devotion to future generations demands sacrifice and many people don’t have that kind of selflessness. Did the sociopath love me? wails the brokenhearted “victim.” “Either let it make you BITTER or BETTER,” suggests Dating a Sociopath.

728px-identify-a-psychopath-step-13Folks, I really think we have other things to do besides break hearts. Relationships don’t last. That’s why there are so many songs about heartbreak. They say psychopaths never take responsibility for our own wrong-doing. We always blame someone else. Can’t the same be said for empaths whose relationships didn’t work out? Psychopaths can’t be responsible for all love affairs that end badly. Take responsibility for your own  pain.

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5 thoughts on “The War of the Sexes

  1. I don’t think a comparison can be made by the acts of a mass murderer and the act of someone who commits adultery. The comparison is after, in the lack of remorse. Just lacking compassion towards someone you’ve hurt. Like they’re nothing. I don’t understand it. I don’t know you personally so I can’t say this about you but, my ex cluster b decided one day that I didn’t matter. The “love bombing” was intense for years. Then multiple affairs without remorse and our kids and I didn’t matter. I just don’t understand it but that’s just it. He doesn’t understand or maybe even believe I feel the way I feel inside and I certainly don’t understand his lack of care. It’s foreign to me. I guess I’d rather be me. Full of emotion, full of love, full of empathy. I’m sure he’s happy without it. Who knows. We all just really know ourselves, however being kind to others and not being cruel is just a normal way to be. Even if it’s not a natural way to be. We’ve all been taught right and wrong. Why hurt others that love you. Makes no sense to me. Leave with kindness not try to hurt someone to extremes. That’s just bullshit, honestly. Again not speaking of you personally. You only know you.

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    1. I was responding to the “darkest creature known to man” comment. You’re right. There’s no comparison. But this man was saying his wife’s infidelity was worse than anything.

      People’s feelings in relationships often change. If members of a couple change in a way that’s compatible, for example, from a passionate romance to a warm, day-to-day sharing of a life together, they are fortunate. Sadly, sometimes one member of a couple will change in ways that clash with the needs of his or her partner.

      The love one person feels for another is often not matched with an equal love from that person. I don’t think it’s productive to blame either party. I don’t think Cluster Bs have a monopoly on relationships that end badly. The man in that video isn’t a qualified psychiatrist so his “diagnosis” is questionable. From what he shared, she sounded more like a borderline than a psychopath. Still Cluster B, of course. He didn’t seem all that well-wrapped himself either. That’s another thing. People who had a badly ending relationship shouldn’t attribute all the wrong to the Cluster B. They probably have issues as well.

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      1. A agree. There’s a lot going on in *that* cluster b 😉. I think my ex was borderline with narcissistic tendencies but he dipped into the other areas as well. He knows he doesn’t think the way I do. He admitted it. When children are involved, there’s an entirely other issue. Maybe you’ll agree with me on that one. They pretty much mind fuck their children and make them believe bullshit just for their own gains. That’s the part that pisses me off the most. The cheating on my part and having zero remorse or not treating me kindly afterwards…I could’ve done without that too. His loss. I’m a pretty awesome person😉.
        Thank you for your response.

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