‘One GP told me I wasn’t ill, just a bad person’
Imagine being told by a doctor that you are “just a bad person.” Of course, psychopaths are told that all the time, not usually by shrinks, although even some shrinks call us “evil,” but by Hollywood, folks next door, even former friends. People with Borderline Personality Disorder are severely stigmatized as well. Just finding a therapist can be daunting as many refuse categorically to treat people with this disorder.
Of all the Cluster B “disorders” those with Borderline seem the most prone to suffer. Psychopaths have detachment. Narcissists have their “false selves” to protect them from the “thousand natural shocks the flesh is heir to.” Histrionics feel lots of emotion but their experiences with such are normally short-lived and “superficial.” Borderlines have described themselves as someone missing a layer of skin — exposed with no effective protection.
Blogger, James Renard said something that rings true. “You’re right about the overlap, but that also means that the polar opposites (I would say the continuum goes Borderline – Histrionic – Narc – Antisocial) are very different from one another. And Antisocial shares some similarities with Cluster A, while BPD is similar to Cluster C.” Yes, the antisocial/psychopathic detachment does slide into Cluster A while the emotional agonizing of Borderline is something like Cluster C. Borderlines are ultra emotional, like Histrionics who, in turn, attract attention like Narcs. Down the Rabbit Hole notes, “All ‘Cluster B’ means really is the person has a weak, fragmented or nonexistent sense of self.” But Psychopaths also have a “weak” or, I would call it a fluid sense of self so we can be whoever or whatever we need to be in a situation. I’ve also heard Borderlines mention feeling a void inside themselves. But Lucky Otter also senses such a void inside Psychopaths.
I’ve described this look before–I’ve seen it on my mother’s face and it gave me nightmares for weeks. I saw it once on my ex’s face when he was drunk and angry. It’s not so much a demonic look (which has a sort of life to it) as a dead, lifeless look that is far worse. It’s a malignant look that makes you want to get away from them fast. Like there’s nothing inside them except an vast and endless black void of nothingness. It’s like standing at the precipice of a black hole, and what can be more terrifying than some nameless void that can suck you into itself–and can even swallow light?
I don’t think evil is the opposite of good. I think evil is the opposite of somethingness–evil is pure black nothingness. Here are some examples of the dead, reptilian eyes of known psychopaths and malignant narcissists.
When I was a very small child, I sensed a void that threatened to engulf me. Was this a Borderline experience or a psychopathic one? I do have a memory of a classic Borderline behavior when I was a teenager. I wrote my boyfriend a letter in my blood. Really. But such Borderline manifestations vanished many years ago. I’m closer to death than ever and I can’t bring myself to really feel much anxiety about that. Is there life after death? I think so. But…whatever… I have no desire to embrace religion or therapy.
Borderlines live with a lot of pain or so I’ve been told. They want help but many shrinks don’t want them as patients. While some shrinks think this condition is untreatable, others say it is the easiest to cure. Perhaps those who find it “untreatable” are the ones who lack the competence to do the job and are blaming the patients for their own inability.
- Borderline Personality Disorder. Emily Reynolds
- Where did BPD stigma come from? Down the Rabbit Hole
- The Distinctive Look of Psychopathy. Looking into the face of evil.
- Spiritual Void … Psychopaths and Identity.
- Borderline and Psychopathy: A Comparison
- Why Do We Feel Empty? Borderline Personality Disorder Forum
- The Doctrine of No Soul. “… the idea of self is an imaginary, false belief which has no corresponding reality…”
- Make BPD Stigma free.
- The Stigma Associated With BPD.
- Borderline Personality Disorder: Stigma, Prejudice in Treatment World.
- Stigmatizing Patients With BPD.
- The Stigma of Borderline Personality Disorder.