Green-eyed Monster



When I had my personality assessment, they told me I was almost a narcissist. Only two things kept me from meeting the profile.

  1. I was self-aware. Strange, isn’t Sam Vaknin, the most famous narc in the world, self-aware? Whatever.
  2. I wasn’t jealous. I true narc is not only jealous of others, s/he thinks others are jealous of hir.

It’s true. I am not the jealous type. Not that I never experience jealousy. But it’s not something that troubles me often. Taylor Swift’s latest video deals specifically with that green-eyed monster.

She sings, “You’re so cool, it makes me hate you so much…. You ruined my life by not being mine.” I’m just not like that. My life doesn’t need anyone to “be mine” in order to be good. I have also never minded actual lovers fucking other people. I have trouble understanding why people feel that way.

beatlemaniaThere’s one genre where people adore someone without expecting hir to belong to them. I’m talking about fandom. I have a friend whose entire life is based on adoring stars of her choosing. She started with the Beatles. For years, it was Brad Pitt and now there seems to be a series of objects for her adoration. It’s like a form of Bhakte Yoga. This form of yoga is about worshipful devotion to the chosen god. Groupies are often satisfied to get laid by their faves. There seems to be a hierarchy of greatness among the objects of their worship. I, myself, only felt that way towards Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. There is little to no thought of monogamy in this kind of attachment.

wealthThose who want an exclusive relationship seem to think the whole magick of a partnership is destroyed if another party muscles in. Like I said, I don’t feel that way. I also don’t feel particularly jealous of those who have more than I do in the way of material goods. I can envy them their good fortune and wish I had whatever they have. But I don’t harbor ill will towards them. On the other hand, I do think the extremely uneven distribution of wealth is an outrage. It’s about fairness rather than personally wishing I had whatever. In fact, if I could suddenly get rich, I probably wouldn’t wish so much for fairness. {shrug} Is this jealousy?

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