Victimhood: a Growth Industry

beeWe Cluster Bees have long known about the culture of Victimhood that points to us, especially ‘Paths and Narcs, as the evil predators who have abused them. There is a site called Love Fraud, owned by a woman named Donna Andersen, that specializes in helping women who have been victimized by the likes of us, “recover” from the trauma inflicted by such predators as … ourselves.

The latest in this growth industry is the idea that lying in order to get laid is a form of rape.

In order for sex to be truly consensual, a woman must have full knowledge of, not only who the man is, including his occupation, education and marital status, but also how he feels about her. Rape isn’t and doesn’t have to be an act of violence. Well, that’s true. A man who uses a date rape drug is guilty of rape. Even if he takes advantage of a woman donna_andersenwho is passed-out drunk, he can be accused of rape. Then there’s statutory rape, meaning any kind of sex with a minor, consensual or not. But does that mean a man who tells the girl he loves her is a rapist if she goes to bed with him because she believed it and it wasn’t true? What if the man changed his mind? Women who cry “rape,” are often accused of just having next morning remorse. A man may think he loves a woman and not feel the same way the next day. I, myself, have wondered what I ever saw in a man who seemed like a great lover the night before. The same Donna Andersen mentioned above spells it out in Rape by deception: Lovefraud — sociopaths, psychopaths, antisocials, con artists, bigamists.

mirandaI understand that there are bars especially for young people to meet. These places are known as singles bars. Lying, I am told, is rampant in such places. It’s so common and well enough known to be acknowledged on such TV shows as Sex and the City. In one episode, a character, Miranda, needs a date for the wedding of a friend so she meets a man at a thing where men and women have insta-dates which are really more like interviews. Those who find mutual attraction can go on real dates. Miranda hooks up with a guy who claimed to be a surgeon. He really worked in retail. So, according to this new standard, he was a rapist. The problem with this is that Miranda lied too. When she told the truth, that she was a partner in a law firm, the men lost interest. So she told this “surgeon” that she was a stewardess. Both parties lied. Was it a mutual rape? Or, perhaps, a double rape?

joyce_shortAs preposterous as this sounds, a woman named Joyce M. Short wrote a book called  Combating Romance Scams. Ms. Short exhorts women to read the book and then advise their legislatures to make such deception a crime and to call it rape. Ms. Short is also the author of a book called Carnal Abuse By Deceit. In New Jersey, a bill was introduced by Troy Singleton to make “rape by fraud” punishable by 20 years in prison. But let’s hear directly from her:

Canada, the country that created a radical anti-pornography law based on the ideas of Andrea Dworkin and Catherine MacKinnon, is at it again. A man, Greg Alan Elliot, was arrested and fired from his job and for daring to disagree with feminists on Twitter. toronto-stephanie-guthrieFortunately, justice prevailed as he has been cleared of those charged. Two social justice warriors, Stephanie Guthrie and Heather Riley, publicly shamed a man who had created an anti-feminist video game. It turns out that the whole kerfluffle started out with a man creating a game to punish his girl friend. A culture war ensued with alt.right types rallying behind a Twitter tag called #gamergate. Mind you, Greg Elliot wasn’t the man who created the game. He merely defended that man by saying the shaming of him was as bad as the game, itself. But Ms. Riley claimed that Elliot’s dissent on Twitter made her feel threatened. How far will these touchy-feely NTs go to enthrone their precious feelings as equivalent to real facts? The above video notwithstanding, it seems Elliot did more than mere disagree intellectually with Guthrie and Riley. He apparently posted obsessively. He still didn’t stray beyond the line of legal dissent and those who are overly sensitive should not get involved in trollish wars.

Be that as it may, this topic is really about free speech. The use of speech to defraud someone out of money has always been considered a crime. But should a woman really love_bombbe able to cry rape because the Wall Street millionaire she hooked up with turns out to be a shoe salesman? Isn’t she playing a game too, pretending to be sincere while really trying to marry a fortune? As far as “lying” about feelings goes, feelings change all the time. If a girl is afraid she is being seduced by a guy who isn’t really serious about a relationship, the remedy would be to wait until he’s proven himself over a period of time. In these days of casual sex, people often jump into the sack on very short acquaintance. It’s kind of expected so a woman may fear she will lose the guy if she doesn’t do it. But how serious can the guy be if he loses interest when the girl isn’t immediately available. Thinking one has to do it to keep him interested is tantamount to assuming he isn’t serious about her. At least not yet. Web sites like Love Fraud accuse psychopaths of love bombing their prey as an act of fraud or even rape. As long as we’re being so politically correct, perhaps psychopaths can accuse people like Andersen of scapegoating us with stereotyping. Think about it.

2 thoughts on “Victimhood: a Growth Industry

  1. There is a certain amount of truth to this:
    “Everybody lies about sex.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

    And, that includes lying to themselves about it, even, I’m sure, Cluster Bees. How many humans, especially young ones, can really tell the difference between Love, Lust, and Infatuation when in the grip of one or more of those? And, if I then say the words that come so easily in that altered state of consciousness (very similar symptomatically to cocaine intoxication or a manic episode) and believe them myself, am I lying to the other person who, in a similar condition, believes them as well? Even the most careful and self-convincedly rational predator can be caught in that trap.

    It is always useful to recall that the ancient Greeks, in their wisdom, personified the condition as the god Eros, the mischievous little son of Aphrodite, shooting random darts of madness at vulnerable mortals.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Speaking about lying about sex, I always hated the way
    Republicans railroaded Clinton over sex and the fact that he lied about sex. I used to say, “I thought a gentleman was supposed to lie about sex. You know. To protect the lady’s reputation. Only a country with a Puritan background would consider a man’s sex life grounds for impeachment.

    I consider my romantic history to have consisted of three great loves. The third is the one I’m still living. The first was very much like an “infatuation.” Very exciting but not much heart felt stuff. I worshiped his power. I didn’t trust him and I knew I could never have a long term relationship with him because he was too erratic and dangerous but I didn’t care. The second guy was a lot more trustworthy. Still a sadist and probably a psychopath. I loved him with all my heart. I felt real grief when he broke up with me. I tried to hate him but I couldn’t do it. Real love is forever. My third is with a woman and we are living our golden years together. We are real friends as well as lovers.

    If nobody lied about sex, would we even have love poetry?


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