Things I Don’t Relate To

…and yet,

furries-500x333My friend, Lucky Otter, doesn’t believe I’m a psychopath. Yet, I never “felt” more psychopathic than I did reading her latest blog, A furry that I never met helped me conquer my fear of death. Her son is what is known as a “furry.” I had never heard of them until Lucky blogged about her son. I’m sorry, Lucky. I just can’t relate to this phenomenon.

dogbomb1The furry who helped her overcome her fear of death, Tony Barrett, aka “Dogbomb,” is pictured on the blog I linked to above. His face is what I can only call “creepy.” He has what I would call “a kick me face.” Furries wear animal costumes which look like pajamas with fake fur and a head mask. What I find most off-putting is the way they almost all look like “animals” you would see in kids’ cartoons. They are unbearably CUTE.

I did some research and found that furries love to cuddle with each other. Isn’t that DARLING? They have a reputation for being evil degenerates which seems undeserved. Sure, they have sex. Don’t most adults (and teenagers)? But some have been accused of having sex with real animals and with children. I guess some of them probably do but some non-furries do as well. (shrug) What I find icky is the way they seem so fixated on such infantile images.

When transsexualism became a thing, some people repudiated it by reducto ad absurdum. “What if someone claims to be another species?” they would say. Well, I don’t know how many furries would actually claim to be animals “trapped in the body” of a human being.

The most outrageous example of a transsexual being absurd is the 52-year-old father of seven children who decided he was really a six-year-old girl and abandoned his family to live with a couple who had real children but let him move in to pretend to be one of their kids. It’s amazing how much support he is getting from even the transgender movement which I would have thought would find him an embarrassment. The articles about him keep calling him “her.”  No. I draw the line at that.

What I seriously dislike about transgenderism is the way they are so authoritarian. I never had a problem calling drag queens “she.” But I will not be forced to call anyone by a pronoun because they demand it or, even worse, get laws passed to compel the world to support their delusion. Furries don’t have a lot of rules for people not in their genre. At least  not so far.

Lucky Otter has a blog post called My son is “furry” — got a problem with that? She introduces the topic by saying, “So far my blog has been pretty inoffensive. Well, I like to think so anyway. But I knew the time would come where I’d have to post about something controversial and now is that time.” But Lucky Otter has never shied away from controversy. She defended people with borderline personality disorder, critiqued anti-narcissist blogs by suggesting many of the writers on these blogs were narcs themselves and regularly badmouths psychopaths. Well, that last thing isn’t all that controversial except to psychopaths.

Well, I am not writing this to diss furries. I am more interested in exploring the difference between my reaction and people like Lucky Otter. About Dogbomb’s video (pictured on her blog), Lucky wrote, “This little animation made me totally lose it for almost an hour. Not just a few tears, but full blown sobbing. This wasn’t actually unpleasant at all, but cathartic. Like a good emotional enema, I felt like my soul had been cleansed.” I played it and thought, “Is that it?” Nothing! I didn’t even connect cognitively to the emotional content. Hm….

And, yet, when I was a child, I wanted to be a cat. Our cat looked so contented. He didn’t have to go to school. Lucky cat. I even told my mother I wanted to “mate” with the cat.  When I was older, but still pre-puberty, I wanted to be a boy. I seriously thought of dressing like one and passing. Had transgenderism been an option in those days, I might have chosen it. I’m glad it wasn’t an option because that feeling passed and I was happy to grow into a woman. I never had a problem calling cross-dressers by the pronoun of the gender they were dressing as. But that was a courtesy, not something they were entitled to demand of me. I guess some of the disconnect is due to the fact that I am neither a millennial, nor an empath.

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13 thoughts on “Things I Don’t Relate To

  1. Hey I appreciate your reblog, and as always you have some interesting thoughts and opinions, but it’s a unfortunate stereotype that furry is a sex fetish. Yes, there is a small subgroup of furries who “get off” on having sex in animal costumes, but it’s been blown way out of proportion. I have been to one of these conventions, my son tells me all about them, and most furries are not in it for sex and don’t fetishize dressing up like animals or having sex in animal costumes. Most do it because they are shy/geeky/socially awkward and feel more comfortable expressing themselves artistically (dancing, acting, etc.) and socializing with others when in suit. People on the autism spectrum are common in the furry fandom. It;s actually an outgrowth of the sci fi community and Star Trek conventions. It’s fantasy, and a hobby more than anything else.
    They just are into cartoon animals instead of, say, anime or characters from scifi movies.

    I’m just trying to set the record straight. Due to an old episode of CSI which depicted a sex killer as a furry, they got a very bad reputation and it still sticks with them.

    I actually wrote another post debunking the idea that furry is a fetish community. It’s linked at the bottom of my post (My Son is Furry: Got a Problem with That?)

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  2. Oops. I hadn’t read your whole post before jumping in and assuming you were stereotyping furries as a sex fetish community. Obviously that wasn’t the point you were making. Sorry if my article annoyed you or pissed you off but it’s mine and I’m sticking by my opinion.

    I also need to defend myself here. I don’t regularly diss psychopaths. In fact, in my last post about psychopaths, I made it a point to say I was aware there are some psychopaths who choose to be ethical (for selfish reasons perhaps, but still doing the “right” thing) and not all are criminals. But, like it or not, most psychopaths (not you, but most) still choose to be antisocial (probably because it’s easier and they get more out of it).

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    1. It didn’t piss me off. It intrigued me to see how differently we saw this subject. I think I was trying to say the reason people think furries are evil is because they have sex with each other and I pointed out that most people have sex. I didn’t mean it was a fetish. It seems more of an identity thing which is why I compared it to transgenderism. You don’t diss psychopaths much anymore. But I’ve seen a few remarks about sociopaths.

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      1. Sociopaths are different. They are consciously and deliberately antisocial. You may be a psychopath but you’re not a sociopath so shut up lol.
        I will continue to diss SOCIOpaths.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Lucky Otters Haven and commented:
    Fran Nowve has some things to say about my post about how a furry I never met helped me cope with the prospect of my own death. I don’t agree with everything she says here, but it’s certainly an interesting commentary. ‘

    I was rather aghast at the story about the middle aged father of seven who identifies as a six year old girl and got himself “adopted” so he can live out his fantasy.

    I’m sorry, but I think that’s much weirder than being a furry. I’ve never known a furry who actually identified as the animal they were depicting (it’s not like being transgender or anything). I know a bit about the furry community because of my son, and for most of them, it’s just a fun hobby and a way for shy or awkward young people to socialize and/or explore the performing arts behind the safety of a mask. Dancing is a big thing in the furry community. Although there is a subset of furries who have a fetish about dressing up as cartoon animals, most just do it for fun. It’s really no different from a Star Trek convention, and in fact grew out of the scifi community.

    That being said, there are some people in this world who do some very weird things, both harmless and harmful. I don’t even know what to think about the man who identifies as a little girl. People are strange.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No. Furries certainly are NOT like that crazy man who pretends to be a 6-year-old girl. I feel sorry for his family. I can’t believe how supportive the transsexual community is being towards him. I don’t see anything wrong with sexual fetishism as long as everything is consensual. I’m into BDSM myself. But I get your point that many furries don’t sexualize it.

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  4. People are, indeed, strange. [cue The Doors] As for the man who identifies as a little girl, that strikes me as more of a rejection of adulthood (and, its attendant responsibilities) than a transsexual thing, possibly the most peculiar mid-life crisis I’ve heard of. The family that “adopted” him/her/them is marching to a strange drummer too. You Tube fame comes in many forms, and it occurs to me that that might be the main point of the whole escapade.

    I think a large part of the sometimes dogmatic insistence by transsexual folk on pronouns is a reflection of the difficulty other people have about making that adjustment in how they think and speak of and to them. I’ve hear that mixed race people run into similar, “Well, what ARE you?” issues, as do bisexuals by some reports in both the straight and LGBTQ communities. Maybe, the real, and for many, uncomfortable, function of Transsexual demands for recognition is to remind a society overly dependent on binary thinking, that human sexuality and gender happens far more between the ears than between the legs.

    I tend to agree with LuckyOtter that Furry and other styles of cosplay can attract and help some socially awkward and very introverted people. Freedom can be found behind a mask.

    Anyway, you two do have some fascinating discussions.

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    1. I don’t agree that sexuality and gender happen more between the ears than in the bodies. Everything other than one cell creatures are binary. Not only mammals but egg-laying animals are binary. Do you really think humans are an exception to such a universal pattern? The DNA is male or female for dogs, cats, birds and people. But humans have imagination and that is what makes for “transgenderism.” That and the fact that, as a culture, we assign traits to each gender. When people don’t conform to gender stereotypes, some of us start to imagine they are different genders.

      A lot of male to female trannies don’t even have an operation. They keep their penis. In many cases, the reason is economic. Those operations are expensive. But I think in other cases, the dude is still attached to his equipment. Ever see You-Tube videos by Blair White. “She” is a MTF trans and one of the most feminine looking people you ever can see. I recently found out that “she” still has her penis and has decided to keep it.

      No. I think gender is binary. But confusion about gender is cultural.

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      1. I have heard or read that in the trans community there is debate and discrimination about whether those who are not, and haven’t decided to be, fully surgically transitioned really belong. I don’t know, and I don’t think anybody does at this point, what has to happen in someone’s brain for them to feel strongly that their “self” dosn’t match their physiology, and, apparently, for some at an early age. I don’t know that any more than I know how it is that I’ve never doubted that my “self” does match my parts, or how it is that I am sexually attracted to females and not to males. Just because something is defined as “normal” does not mean we understand it. It is that which is defined (socially) as abnormal that we think needs explanation.

        It is true that the base biology of gender is binary as far as we now know (Some combination of genetic factors may yet be found that complicate that simple X-Y picture, but it hasn’t happened yet.). It is the expression socially of gendered behavior that we humans are so adept at complicating.

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    1. When I was a young child, I didn’t “feel” like a girl (or a boy). I was told I was a girl because of my anatomy and I accepted it as I accepted most facts I was told at that age. How is it supposed to “feel” to be a girl or a boy? How would a three-year-old know what a girl “feels like?” Yet Jazz Jennings claims to have “felt” like a girl at age three. Today, a full-fledged man, with no hormones or surgery can claim the right to use a woman’s rest room because he “feels” like a woman. Whatever “combination of genetic factors may yet be found that complicate that simple X-Y picture,” gender is still overwhelmingly binary.

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      1. That question of what it feels like to be a boy or girl is a strange one. The adults tell you which you are and how you feel becomes in your mind what being that feels like. How that can get turned upside down for a very young child is probably the core mystery of gender dysphoria. In a way, it resembles the perceptual distortion of an anorexic who can look at their emaciated body in a mirror and “see” fat.

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